This Made Me Angry

As an evangelist, theologian and more importantly just a plain Christian I am concerned with the right understanding of scripture. The theological term for this is Hermeneutics. Now personally I am one of those fundamentalist Evangelical conservative Christians. I have read the King James Version (KJV) also known as the Authorized Version for many years. I currently use the English Standard Version (ESV) the translation used by my church. However this doesn't mean that if someone reads the NIV, NRSV or NASB etc. that they are necessarily reading a bad or perverted version of the bible. However there is a line to be drawn here, And while I wouldn't like to commit to exactly where that line is, I've just read two versions which step way, way over that line. And because it is God's word at stake, it makes my blood boil.

Here are the versions. First is the KJV to use as a comparison. Note () are in the origional, my comments are between [].

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Now for "The Message" version"

Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are. [you would think something like 'we worship you']
Set the world right;
Do what's best— as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals. ['3 square meals, if nothing else, what about fasting, although I could say much more]
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. [how about forgive me]
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.[Yes?, er no actually Amen means: and so shall it be]

That was the paraphrase, now for the one that really made me mad

B Marshall

God, our father (our mother)
[Whoa lets stop right there: 'mother?' er no, God is genderless, but in the bible He portrays Himself as the father figure rather than as the mother because of the rolls these two parent figures take in the home. I will lay it on the line, anyone who believes God can be refer to God as 'mother' has an idolatrous understanding of who God is.][what about, who is in heaven]

may your name be honoured
may your Way become our way
[way? this is not some mistical idea, its God's Kingdom rulership on earth]
as we surrender to your will
Give us what we need, for today
Just as you free us when we have fallen, help us not to hold on for too long to pain caused by others.[pain caused by others, no sir, we need to be forgiven of sin]
Guide us and give us wisdom to distinguish between your voice, and what only seems like your voice. [you got that right anyway, this bible certainly ain't God's word]
Amen.